Never Drink Tea Alone

Never Drink Tea Alone 

There is nothing more Russian than tea; well, maybe bears dancing in a birch forest or fur-clad Russians playing balalaika music and eating borscht. Those are pretty Russian too, but since they're not very common, tea is the next best thing. 

I went to tea today at the home of a lovely woman named Victoria. She met me at a bus stop and we set off to her apartment. We walked through the swirling snow, leaving crisp footprints in the fluffy white blanket that covered the ground. Kids resembling the little brother in The Christmas Story, bundled to within an inch of their lives, ran (or should I say 'waddled') past, delighted by the snow. We passed an older gentleman who obviously felt the opposite about the snow. As for me, I always become a complete toddler at the first minuscule flake.

Victoria's apartment building was a ways from the bus stop, and stood on the edge of a steep hill. It was in a very quiet neighborhood she described as "the sleepy district." It was completely silent, something you never hear in this city. There wasn't a sound and it was deafening; strange here, but familiar to someone who grew up in my hometown. 

Her apartment was neat as a pin, and had a gorgeous view. I never get tired of seeing other people's apartments. They are all different from each other, but unmistakably Russian. There were big windows, and it was very bright despite all the clouds. As for the tea, like all tea here, it was strong and scorching hot, accompanied by an army of cookies, chocolates and then a plate of cheese. (Never a day goes by in Russia without consuming some amount of cheese). 

Victoria works as a translator, and speaks very good English. We talked and talked, and listened to classical music. She told me about her trip to Moscow, where she saw the inside of the Kremlin and an opera at the Bolshoi Theatre. She talked of how beautiful St. Petersburg is, and about her travels to the Caucasus. She told me her dreams of traveling to Thailand and Paris.  She also talked a little bit about her childhood, about growing up in the Soviet Union, at which time Vladivostok was a closed city. I asked her how life had changed as the city was opened. She said she couldn't tell, since she was a child when the city was closed, and life always seemed the same to her as the city opened. However, she did say that as the city opened, so did the opportunities. 

I enjoyed talking to her, hearing about her life and family. I realized we're not so different, the Russians and us. Our cultures are different and our languages are different, but we're all just people. We have the same problems, the same joys.

Something as simple as sharing a pot of tea with someone is such a huge part of Russian culture. Taking time out of busy days to spend it with friends is very important, but something, I think, that has been forgotten in our own culture, and it's a shame. The Russian culture is all about people. Sure, they all have their hobbies, sports, dance, projects, but those are not the focus of their lives. They don't live to do things. People are at the center of this culture, people are the priority. Relationships are valued, long lasting and meaningful. 

I used to think people here led such dull lives; they weren't always rushing off to the next activity, or booking their calendars for weeks in advance. A lot of times people have nothing to do in the afternoons, every afternoon. The pace of life here is slower. People actually sit on park benches, instead of just jetting by them. They go on long walks for no other reason than walking, not necessarily for exercise, or to get somewhere, but just to walk. They sit at cafes for hours chatting, even when the tea pot is empty and the staff are putting the chairs up on the tables. Life here is laid back and spontaneous. It is still novel to me when people here have "nothing to do." They simply pick up their phone, call a friend, and spend their day with them. It's something so foreign to me. I'm used to any sort of get together being planned out perfectly, with everything short of a coordinated timetable for the day. Here people often don't even know what they'll do as they plan to meet, they just meet and spend time together. 

It's just not the Russian way to drink tea alone.